sendmail is to me like Starscream is to Megatron. It’s always fouling things up at the last minute. I’m going to switch to postfix.

Today Tristan was asking me about Transformers again. This pleases me because this is the list of the things that I am somewhat expert in (no particular order):

• Transformers
• C/C++
• Star Trek
• Perl
• Doctor Who
• Photography
• Thursday Next
• Never Being Confused

Anyway, he was asking me about where the Transformers came from and I told him about Primus and Unicron, the gods of the Transformers. This is sort of how it went:

me: Primus and Unicron are the gods of the Transformers. Primus created the transformers to battle the evil Unicron.
Tristnan: Did Unicron create the Decepticons to fight the Autobots?
me: No, Primus created both the Autobots and the Decepticons
Tristan: Why did he create them just to fight each other?

I really love the questions that Tristan asks. Now, granted we are talking about a mythology that nobody believes in, but you could easily recreate this exact same conversation using a number of “real” religions that I can think of, and this is exactly the sort of abstract thinking that should be applied to the subject.

Tyler sent me this awesomeness:

Hope everyone has some happy holidays, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, International Talk Like a Pirate Day or a little bit of everything :)

In RiD (One of the recent modern Transformers adaptations), the robots would say “so and so^[1] Transform” in an appropriately dramatic voice, because, you know, if they didn’t say it the gears and such wouldn’t operate and they’d be stuck in their previous mode. For some totally unjustifiable reason this caused me to imagine myself saying “Extend Contract” in another suitably dramatic voice, when “David”^[2] told me that my contract had been extended until the end of December^[3]. My immediate employer called and said that the contract will be in the mail, and I trust them a little more, so it looks like I’m good until the end of the year.

---

1. Insert actual Transformer’s name here
2. of “I don’t trust him any further than I can throw him” fame
3. ...and of course by the end of December, I actually mean 15 December, because apparently in Australia big business shuts down half way through December for three weeks

Well, I'm leaving Utah finally this afternoon. In LA for the weekend where Tyler and I are going transform into trains and drive around. Then I will be down under! Amazing!

I'm planning some road trips this summer, so I decided to get a dedicated GPS for when I'm using my nav-computer Polaris in the DacMobile. The GPS arrived today and I was just out field testing it. I would say that it is much better suited for the task than the old one was. The old one will still be useful for hiking and all that, but this one will be much more reliable in the car. The neat thing about the software which came with this unit is that it talks to you. In this business feminine voice it's like "In Three Hundred Feet Turn Left." Usually my computers don't talk to me like that and it reminded me of Star Trek (which is about the only place that computers do talk, and have complex conversation skills). The program's voice reminded me in particular of an episode, I'm not for certain which one, where the computer is reprogrammed with this sensual voice which sounds like it is trying to seduce Captain Kirk every time he uses it (he pretends to be un-amused, but we all know better). This got me to thinking that there must be a huge underdeveloped market for computer audio themes. (I think the market for desktop themes must be pretty well sewn up by now). The cliché would be a phone-sex theme ("Oh baby... turn left baby"). The audio theme that I want to have in my navigational computer though, is the one which features Robert Stack saying "Blurr, you can help me turn left in three hundred feet."

For all of those of you who are west of EST, I present you with a message from... The Future!

It is the year 2005

/

The treacherous Decepticons have conquered
the Autobot's home planet of Cybertron.

YOU MUST TRANSFORM TO THE UNSURPASSED GUY FOR YOUR WIFE

www.spamusement.com

"Autobots, transform and smoke pot."

Rodimus Prime from a time in my life when we also came up with hte Clock-a-cons.