The Twilight Report

Your Home For Snappy Repartee

skiing

I went today.
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Snowbasin

Don flew in this weekend and on Monday we went to Snowbasin. I only went skiing once last year, and my technique has degraded as a result, but I'm starting to get my second wind. The mountain was mostly blue and black. With the exception of two gondolas and a high speed quad, the lifts are old school triples which zoom around and catch you at breakneck speed -- it reminded me a bit of Pajrito. Snowbasin opened in 1939, and is apparently one of the oldest ski resorts in the United States.

The first time we went up in the gondola there were two young girls (omg) discussing wedding rings and weddings (and nothing but). The second gondola was with three young military men discussing where they had served (all locations were stateside as far as I could tell) and how they had spent their 60 days of leave after they had finished at "the academy." I found the contrast between these two rides both refreshing as well as being disturbingly narrow. I imagined riding up in a gondola with a bunch of IBMers/ex-IBMers and one or two non-IBMers. Actually, minus the gondola, that pretty much describes every party that I attended during my years at New York.

There is a Australian "joke" which goes like this:

Q: What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
A: Can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

The "humor" is derived from the fact that the way that Australian's pronounce the word basin can be indistinguishable from the word bison to non-Australians.

We went to Antelope Island last weekend which surprisingly does not have any antelope, but does have a large number of bison. Don (my step father), who likes to repeat silly jokes, has been using every opportunity to tell this "joke" ever since.

Therefore: from now on I am going to refer to Snowbasin as Snowbuffalo.
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Nemesis

Ever since he started working here (which is years ago at this point, although I can't tell you exactly how many years it has been) I half jokingly decided that Frank W. was my arch nemesis on account of the "fact" that he went to ASU, the arch rival of the U of A. Given that Arizona State (as in the state which is Arizona, not ASU) is identical to Arizona (as in the state which is Arizona, not the U of A), since there is no other subdivision like Arizona City (a la New York City), it s kind of a silly rivalry. If an alien presence were to visit the state of Arizona he might conclude that the rivalry is based on the ordering of words.

Today when I got out of my car, I realized that I had left my badge in my other pants, and was about to give one of my co-workers a call when I saw two people in the parking lot. One of them was that cute Indian woman who I'd like to get to know better, and the other was my arch Nemesis Frank W. I asked if they could let me in. People at work don't even answer that question. Security is so lax that you can assume the answer is yes.

Walking in, we started talking about snow, and then skiing and then...

Brief intermission here: it is so obvious that this conversation arc was going to lead to my proclamation about how much better the snow, and therefore the skiing is in the southwest. I just can't help myself. Every time I start talking about snow or skiing with someone I just have to tell them what they are missing (if they are missing it) or commiserate with them if they know what they are missing by living on this quarter of the country. Why do I do that?

...I tell them about how I am used to the white fluffy snow we have in the southwest, as apposed to the awful icy crap that they have around here. Frank tells me that he went to school in Arizona (which I already knew), and I say: "So did I." He asks me where, I tell him, and then he told me that he went to NAU.

All the while I am being coy, pretending that I don't know. Only I didn't know. I always thought he went to ASU, and now it turns out he went to NAU and that means he can't be my arch-nemesis anymore! As arch-nemeses[1] go, he was benign. Though I realize by definition, one's arch-nemesis is not supposed to be benign.

When I was in grade school, my arch-nemesis was Brad Green, and he was a good arch nemesis, because we used to get into fights. I can't remember exactly what they were about. In high school, my arch-nemesis was Bird Boy. He nominated himself president and founder of the GTO haters club (GTO being my initials). As such, he was more of a thorn in my side that I really great arch-nemesis. I don't think I had an arch-nemesis in college. Tyler: If you are reading this, can you remember if I had one?

Now I need a new arch-nemesis. I will be accepting applications immediately.



[1] Apparently this is the plural of nemesis.
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The Bright Side

It really sucks that it is dark at five o'clock. On the bright side, I will be skiing soon.
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