The Twilight Report

Your Home For Snappy Repartee

commerce without morality



So forever ago, Smitha wrote in her LJ something about spelling alphabets and never being able to think of countries to associate with certain letters. What do you use for X? Anyway, that got me to think that defunct empires would be a good spelling alphabet to use, not because it would be easy to understand, but because I suspected that I could design it to be pretty hard to decipher. For example, when I got to H I chose “Holy Roman Empire” and for R I chose “Roman Empire.” Although it isn’t ambiguous, unless you were paying attention you might get lost.

So I finally wrote a little web app to give you the spelling alphabet spelling for a number of different alphabets. Some of them (NATO, LAPD) are actually in use. Some of the others (defunct empire, etc) I just made up for fun. I made defunct empire the default because it seemed to be the least useful.

(btw- if you can think of a country that starts with X let me know. I will accept historical, currently nonexistent countries, but not fictional countries, as I am currently using the fictional country Xanth for X because I couldn’t think of anything else. I also need defunct empires for W X and Y; the current X is actually the capitol of an Empire, not the Empire itself)

I also have a new management policy for my website, so make sure you read that and agree to all of the terms before using my website. It is also available in latin if you English isn’t very good.

Please leave a comment here:

Farewell Lunch

My farewell lunch at The Company was surprisingly pleasant. Pretty much everyone from the department showed up, except for my manager, but that was good because it gave Greg the opportunity to do impressions of him. There were even a few people from greater EDA who came, that I've gotten to know over the years.

When we were walking back to the building after lunch, people had bunched up into smaller sub groups, and I noticed that because of my pace I was sort of between groups, off by myself. I thought to myself: here I am the guest of honor and my anti-social tendencies have still taken over.

As I type this I just realized that I forgot to have Adil invite that cute Indian girl (the one that always seems to smile at me) to my farewell lunch.
Please leave a comment here:

Accomplish the Impossible

A month or so ago I told my mum (that is Australian for mother, Happy Australia Day) that I thought the project that I was working on might just be impossible, and that I should have told my manager and team leader up front about my estimate of the tractability of the assignment. Suffice it to say I got a really big test case not produce errors today for the first time ever. So I was on the phone with my mum and I told her "It's only going to be a month late. I think that is pretty good for something which is impossible huh?" The whole situation sort of reminds me of the Stan Bush song "Never Surrender" although my favorite of his is still Dare!

Anyway, it occurs to me that my entries of late have been very work centric and more than a little jargon filled. Sorry about that folks. The good news is that I'm having my Australia Day party on Saturday which will be 100% fun and after that I am off to Australia, so I am sure in future entries you will be able to hear what a fun folks are having in the Hudson Valley; hopefully to the point that you wonder if we get anything done ever. Beacon is, after all, the Party Capital of the Universe. I spill over the brim with irony.

So anyway, after talking to mum on the phone about the unmentionable, I got to work baking myself a meat pie to celebrate Australia Day. Yay Australia Day! Hooray, it's Australia Day. Meat pies are very Australian. Anyway, actually it is sort of a dry run for the party on Saturday. I thought it would be good to make sure that I knew how to make it before I started making them en mass. When I extracted a slice it sort of fell apart, but it tasted super good. I attribute this to the indestructibility of the recipe, because I think I did just about everything wrong.

Brad says that he likes meat, and that he likes pies, and that he is looking forward to having the combination of those two good things. Joanna on the other hand will not be missing out, although we are missing her. We miss you Joanna!

Oh I had a discussion with my father last night where I explained, once again, that I am not interested in being an academic. I don't understand why I have to explain this to him every time that I talk to him. It's like fish. He probably still doesn't remember that I don't like fish. I wish he would listen to me.

Somebody tried to hack my web page today. Actually I would say that it was more of a probe that an out right hack. He was trying to insert java script into one of my comment thingies on my web site. Oops sorry, that was computer jargon wasn't it. Ok. Never mind. Suffice it to say Simon Belmont repelled the intruders with his trusty whip. It is a good thing he is a tough mother. I realize that doesn't make any more sense than the jargon, unless you are Tyler. Oh well.
joanna buttinger @ nx1 commented:
ooh! I am catching up on the blog reading. I love the
shoutouts! I miss eating brad's pies, and I miss the
traditional Australian day tofu pie.
joanna buttinger @ nx1 commented:
ooh! I am catching up on the blog reading. I love the
shoutouts! I miss eating brad's pies, and I miss the
traditional Australian day tofu pie.
Please leave a comment here:

Cold December Day, Bright Blue Skies

Well, my little trip down to New Jersey on Sunday was great. I visited my friend, and fellow camera geek e. I showed her all the most important things about PhotoShop that I learned from the Color Digital class that I took this summer. We went pretty fast, but I think she picked up enough for it to be useful for her. At the very end, I watched her work on this photograph:
Photograph By e
She took it while she had been in Israel this year, and I think it's a very good photograph and it gives me a warm fuzzy because she did the color and contrast adjustments using the techniques that I had showed her.

I was going to make a print of this so that I could put it up somewhere, but I asked for her permission first, since I would want anyone to check with me before reproducing one of my photographs or putting them up on the web or anything like that, but she said I could do anything I wanted with it so here it is.

Ever have a whole bunch of things that you need to get done, but you get psychologically road blocked by one of them? The completion of the one does not really bar you from completing the others, but for some reason you can't wrap your mind around the others until you get it taken care of? Well, that is sort of how I felt this morning. No longer!

At lunch today I used the $8 coupon at the cafeteria that The Management gave everyone in our department as a "thanks." I got the most expensive item I could find to make sure that the total was at least $8. Total cost to me: $0.55. Feeling that I have milked The Company for as much as I possibly could: Priceless.

On the way out I snarked a slice of apple pie. They were giving them away to celebrate our strategic alliance with Apple Computers. A friend of mine worked on the resisters in the new G5 computers! This is among the many reasons that I would love to have a G5. Given my current economic realities, that is going to have to wait.
mego @ nx1 commented:
Way to stick it to the Pie Man! My company gave us all
pretty slick Nalgenes for our "thanks", which is cool.
Please leave a comment here:

Wizard

I got a promotion of sorts. It's a rather hollow victory, since it comes at the expense of a departed colleague. Still, I should be more gracious about this whole thing. I'm now in charge of Wizard development.

I guess this is what bothers me: my manager has gotten rid of two people in my time in the Timing department, and asked me to take over for both of them. Things were never like this under Bob, the manager that hired me.
Please leave a comment here:

Those Idiots

So I have been working in my new department for about nine months or so now. I basically work on two major things. I don't want to get into the details of what I do, because it is pretty boring, but lets just call them Interface and Parallel. Neither have anything to do with each other. I have a partner for Parallel with whom I work with pretty closely. It has to do with the nature of the beast. When I work on the Interface, I am much more subordinate to the owner of the code, and it is therefore not a partnership. One day, when I learn more about how the Interface works it could be, but it is far too early for that.

The guy who owns the Interface code had a family emergency recently and was gone from work for three weeks. When he got back he asked me how much time I had been spending on Interface vs. Parallel. The truth is I have not been working much on the Interface, because Parallel has been soaking up all kinds of time. I find out today that my idiot manager strongly suggested that the Interface owner resign from The Company and everyone understands if he doesn't that they will probably fire him. My manager seems to think that he hasn't been working hard enough, which is bullshit.

It's bad enough that The Company continually shoots itself in the foot by getting rid of good people that they really need, but this seems totally over the top. The guy's son had been in the hospital for three weeks he comes back to work and they kick him while he's down. What makes it worse is that I think the reason they moved me into the Interface when they did because they wanted to get rid of him. They are using me as a tool to get rid of this guy and that makes me hate them.

In the afternoon I was working with my Parallel partner and we came up with an idea which I hope may tie up a whole bunch of loose ends. My Parallel partner has been at The Company for about 20 years, and he was telling me that he felt as though he had done himself a real disservice by staying here for as long as he has, because bam! they get rid of you and the things we work on are so specialized that you really don't know enough about the real world to get a decent job. After 20 years and with a family to support it is real tough to start over. I've been here for four years and I'm thinking it is time to get the hell out. Suggestions anyone? Seriously. Suggestions?

After work I was both pissed off at management, while at the same time excited about our potential Parallel breakthrough. My friend Sarah had asked me to take her portrait for her web site. She is an aspiring wedding photographer and she is going to need to advertise. I was humbled that she asked me, because she knows lots of photographers. I was also super excited to get back into the studio and shoot some pictures. Tonight was the night that we were going to get together for this.

Afterward we ordered a pizza and talked about various things. She's broken up with her sort of boyfriend and she's going to be moving to New Hampshire, probably sometime next year. I'm going to miss having her around. She says that she will be back eventually, but by the time she is, I had better be gone, for my own sake.
Please leave a comment here:

Diversity and Columbus Day (Unobserved)

I get the feeling that The Twilight Report is becoming a Dilbert's rant about the stupidity which is The Company. While this is not A Good Thing generally speaking, it must be because The Company has been on my mind a lot lately. Every year we have these diversity training meetings where our manager explains to us what diversity is. Today was that day for my new department. One of the slides Tom showed us went something like thus:
Diversity
To which someone in the department said "I don't really understand this chart. I mean, why is Germany and Vietnam in red, and nothing else is?"

Nobody could really give a satisfactory answer to this, but someone else did say "It shows diversity."

I think it is fabulous that you can take the emotionally charged and complex idea of diversity and encapsulate it into a single chart. It is a good thing that The Company decided to show us this chart, otherwise we might become bigoted. On another chart they lumped Women in with all the popular minorities. I know it is a cliché to even bring it up, but since when is 51% of the population a minority? (And if it isn't a minority, then why can't I get a date for Friday night?)

Today is Columbus Day (Unobserved). Yesterday was Columbus Day (Observed). Some people call it Native People's Day, with an acute sense of irony. Columbus began the subjugation of North America, something Leaf Erikson failed to do centuries before 1492.

Every year seems as though I go to the Adirondack's Columbus Day weekend for our annual cabin trip. Not because we get Columbus Day off at The Company (because we don't)... it just always ends up like that. This year was our first exception since the people who own the cabins closed shop early this year. This was terribly disappointing.
bob terwilleger @ nx1 commented:
Why do you hate diversity? You probably want to return to
the old days, when dinosaurs rulled the earth. Are you a
giant reptile? You people are always trying to keep us
mammalians down. You cold blooded sauropod! For shame.
Please leave a comment here:

rc3: another day in the life of robert cobbler

Note: I originally wrote this early in the morning on August 4 for another site, but I am particularly pleased with it, so I am reposting it here to get total coverage. I've only made a few additional corrections.

I did this once before, almost ten years ago. Thought it was time once again to write about my old friend RC.

rc3: another day in the life of robert cobbler

3 August 2004 / August 3, 2004

By the time I got into my car to... I would say go to work... but the fact that I am going to work today seems almost incidental... but anyway, by the time I get into my car to go to work I have already been up for almost 3 hours today. I got up extra early to photograph a still life for my second assignment which was really due yesterday, but I had forgotten to take the film out of the fridge last night so I spent an hour going through my writing desk searching for the title to the Toyota so that I can get Green's Auto to haul the thing away so I don't have to spend money on it. Right now that car is costing me money just sitting in my driveway and it has to come to an end. By the time I have confirmed that I really don't have the damn title anymore and that I will have to deal with DMV, the film is ready to shoot, but I still am not. I can't think of what to shoot. The content of my writing desk is scattered across the floor neatly organized into categories. The largest pile is stuff to throw away. The batteries I found stored in the desk are lying about and I imagine the Energizers confronting the Duracells in a medieval conflict. A couple of candles become castle towers in my mind. It seems the dumbest thing I can think of, but I arrange this ten second fantasy into my still life assignment.

[photograph]

I finish photographing the still life on time, and this is when I get into my car to start my day which already seems to be progressing. What I have to accomplish seem to add up to something larger than 24 hours, and even so I manage to forget three somethings in a row, each time having to turn around and drive back home to get it. Each time I seem to get further, which seems like progress, although it is really more work because it's longer to drive back. First I forgot my medication. Then it was my Australian passport application. Then it was the CD I had sold on half.com and had to post today.

(read more...)

I drive all the way to Poughkeepsie to drop off my film, because that is the closest professional lab, and the only which will get my E-6 processed quickly enough. As often is the case when I get into the lab there is no one there. I wait a few minutes. I say "Hello." I walk over to the door sensor and stand in its way to make it beep again. I say "Hello" again. There is some rumbling. Finally one of the guys who I recognize by face but not name comes out to get my film. "This one needs to be pushed one stop. That's four o'clock, right? And this one is just regular, that's three, right?" Round trip is about an hour and I am only about ten minutes late, by the time I get to work.

I've been dreading this week's one-on-one with my manager because I don't have much to show as far as accomplishments. Parallel still doesn't work and I haven't started working on reports. I had rushed to check in some code yesterday (also a busy day) so that I could make the pretense of having accomplished something. Happily, my manager is not in his office so I go back to my workstation to finish my breakfast already in progress.

I try calling the Australian consulate in New York City, because an appointment is required to submit my application for Australian passport. Sadly there is a menu, but no way to talk to a real person. This is Australian Bureaucracy in all its glory.

We have a department meeting at eleven. These things seem pointless to me at the best of times, and in my current mental state, these are far from being the best of times. My manager and the team leads find great difficulty in finding a working Ethernet port. I will not point out how ridiculous this is. A large technologically advanced computer firm and we can't even afford to pay for more than one working Ethernet port for two conference rooms. A green Ethernet cable snakes over the wall, through the flimsy ceiling from one room to the other, and even that one doesn't work. It's sad.

After the department meeting, it's lunch time, but I don't have time to eat. Instead it's off to the DMV, but first have to stop by the Hopewell photo to get some over priced film (they don't have what I need so I leave empty handed), and then I stop by the post office to post my most recent half.com purchase order: The Big Lebowski sound track. Finally I am off to the DMV.

Now, a lot of people dread the DMV. I've dealt with the organization formally known as the INS, which is by far more bureaucratic, and by far more under funded, and the employees are by far less sympathetic. Today, I have to admit is a pretty good day at the DMV: the line is short and the lady behind the counter is very helpful despite the fact that I have inadvertently brought the wrong form with me. While I am furiously filling out forms, she is entering other forms into her computer so that she doesn't have to send me away. I moved several months ago, and I need to update my address, and renew several documents, including my driver's license. I get back to work, only about fifteen minutes behind schedule.

When I walk into my partner's office at work, his officemate says "Here he is..." ominously.

"Uh oh" I reply. "What I done this time?"

Turns out last night when I checked that rushed code in that I broke the build. This is a bad thing, for those of you who are not software engineers. My partner tries accepting the blame. I have to say, that my partner in crime, earm... I mean in parallel, is a good guy. Everyone on the team is. They are totally professional and decent human beings. If I didn't have an aversion to socializing with the people I work with I would have no problem calling any of them my friends.

So I sit in his office for about three hours looking at our parallel problem, while people come in and out pestering me about having broken the build. It doesn't help, of course that my partner's office mate is responsible for the build process, I suppose.

I finally get back to my office, which I haven't been in since before lunch (incidentally, I didn't have time to actually eat). I am going to leave pretty soon, but I check my work e-mail and there is one here from the team leader reminding me to look into a work item that someone else has to finish. I've been having trouble coaxing this guy into showing me how to get the data into our requirements web page. I call him up and talk to him for a few minutes. I hang up feeling as though he has maneuvered out of actually showing me how to do the thing I need to know how to do once again. Zero progress there too.

Then it's back up to Poughkeepsie to pick up my film. Happily this is on my way to school, which is my next destination. Between those two spots I stop at Mole-Mole for dinner, where I order the Chili Relleno. While I am waiting for my food to come out, I stuff my slides into slide sheets. The food is excellent, and I feel stuffed when I leave.

[photograph]

When I get to school for open lab hours, Johanna is there. She was in my last class at Dutchess too, the lighting class. She's also hot. I don't have time for that though. I pick out eight slides and I scan them. I should have brought paper to print some stuff out, but of course I have forgotten to bring it.

It's 7:30pm when I get out of the lab, and I am actually ahead of schedule. This is because I decided to skip one of my objectives, and that was assignment number three, which is due tomorrow. There are a couple of hours left in the day, so I go to the mall and shoot 30 frames of a 36 roll which I am hoping to pass off as assignment number three and take them to the one hour place. I dread giving my film to places like this, but I simply do not have time to take the film anywhere else.

I leave there at about 8:30pm. I've been up since 6:00am or so. I call my mum up on my cell phone so that I can chat with her as I drive home. It's the only time in the day that I can talk to friends and family. I carp that I am becoming annoyed that my father's attitude toward America now that I am an American citizen. I never thought this would happen, but my feelings toward this country have altered somewhat now that I am a citizen. I carp that I don't like the way my father says that he thinks Bush and Karry are much the same so that it doesn't matter what happens in November. I actually agree with this analysis somewhat (although I would still like to see one of those candidates loose in November, I won't tell you who), but I don't want some foreigner telling me that. My dad isn't really a foreigner though... because thanks to recent legislation in the Australian parliament, I retained my Australian citizenship when I became an American.

I stop by Hanaford to get some cornflakes for breakfast tomorrow. Mum watches the news summary while I am in the supermarket.

When I finally get home, I check the mail, and take the camera and computer equipment I have been lugging around all day out of the car. I don't want to leave it in there because it will get quite hot in there in the morning. Someone has stuffed enormous bags of garbage in my garbage can. This means that I won't be able to put any trash out for collection on Friday. Needless to say, this pisses me off.

I get off the phone with my mum. I have a headache. I take the vitamins which I did not have time to take this morning when I left, and two ibuprofen. I check my personal e-mail and I see that I have made another sale on half.com. I wish that people would make several orders in one day, instead of one order each day. It would make my life easier.

Finally I go to sleep; hopefully not to dream.

Note: The original RC can be found here.

rob cobbler @ nx1 commented:
Interesting name...
Where are you located?
Please leave a comment here: