I was listening to NPR one day in 2005, as I was oft to do in those days around about the time I decided move back to Australia, when they had an interview of Jasper Fforde, of whom I had never heard of before, in which he read the passage from his brand new Something Rotten in which Prince Hamlet found himself in a modern coffee shop with its bewildering array of choices, and he is required to do the one thing that he is totally ill-equipped to do: make a simple decision. Immediately following my run-on-sentence I decided that was among the most brilliant things I had ever heard and that I needed to read at least the first book in his Thursday Next series. I devoured the first four books in a few weeks and was left with an empty feeling when I realized I would have to wait at least another whole year to read Jasper's new book since he had inconsiderately not written it yet.

Fast forward to 2011 and I was back in the states, but had become accustomed to reading Fforde's books in the UK conventions so I pre-ordered One Of Our Thursdays Is Missing from amazon.co.uk instead of amazon.com. It was a nice bonus that it arrived a full week before it came out in the states, and a double bonus that it was the last week I was at the Bureau and the last week that I would be riding the metro which was the perfect time to be reading it. I read the last page on the ride home from my last day.

Jasper was charming in his NPR interview, and I had always found it interesting reading about his process of writing, so when I checked his website for his US tour for the book I was disappointed that he wasn't going to be coming to the Washington DC area, and decided to go on a road trip to Raleigh to see him there instead. There were a number of things that I wanted to do on the way anyway, so it would be a good excuse to have a fun weekend away with Lena. I am going to write tomorrow about our adventures in Virginia on the way to and the way back from North Carolina.

The main thing that struck me about the Q&A session after Jasper talked about his writing process and read two sections from his book was how amazingly gracious he was with his fans. Most people asked questions that I could remember the answers to by having read his books, and I know that would have driven me crazy if I had written them, although in their defense some of them had been answered in One Of Our Thursdays Is Missing, which I had a weeks head start on everyone :P

Many of the things that he talked about I had already read on his 1990s esq website, but there were a few nuggets of interest that I hadn't gleaned from that or other sources. He described the way he thought up unusual situations, or ideas, like finding a gorilla in a tree in your front yard, and writing his way out of that. He said that idea of The Fourth Bear came from the fact that the different porridge temperatures doesn't makes sense in the story of the Three Bears, if you understand thermodynamics. All good stuff.

Then came the signing, which I was sort of dreading and looking forward to at the same time. When it came to our turn I wanted to tell him how much I appreciated the entertainment value of the books that he had written, while at the same time trying not to sound like a creepy obsessed fan that lacked respect for his privacy. I honestly don't think I am that sort of person, but I think sometimes it is easier to play that part even if you don't mean to. I shouldn't have really worried in retrospect though, because, as I mentioned he was amazingly gracious to everyone at the event.

When it was our turn he said “Graham is that you?” My name was written on a post-it note for his convenience.

“That would be me.”

He made some comment observing that my copy was the UK edition, and I explained dumbly “I couldn't wait”, which if you will recall is not technically true, but easier to say than explain my life story of ping-ponging over the years between Sydney and the United States.

“What you couldn't wait two week?”, my urge was to correct him, but he corrected himself: “No wait, it was only one week!”

Then I asked if we could take a photo which we did and it was over. I felt like I had missed the opportunity to say something clever, but at least he didn't think I was an Axe Murderer. Next time he is on tour we will have to go see him in the UK and bring a US edition with us.

Today I trekked into the city to get Jasper Fforde's latest book The Fourth Bear. If you like Douglas Adams, or Terry Pratchett, you might like Fforde. I first heard of him when he did an interview on NPR in which he read a passage from his then latest book, where Hamlet, prince of Denmark, is forced to decide what kind of coffee to get when he steps into a modern (198x) coffee shop and is bewildered by the insurmountable choices (Hamlet being well known for his indecisiveness). Maybe you had to be there.

I was pleased to learn than Fforde's next book will be a Thursday Next novel.

Tonight I went to see the Australian film Jindabyne. See it if you get the chance.

"What's for supper?" I asked, slumping in a chair and closing my eyes.

"I've been experimenting with alternative recipes," said ibb, "so we're having Apples Benedict."

"Apples Benedict?"

"Yes; it's like Eggs Benedict but with--"

"I get the picture. Anything else?"

"Of course you. You could try Turnips à l'Orange or Macaroni Custard; for pudding I've made Anchovy Trifle and Herring Fool. What will you have?"

"Beans on toast."

I sighed. It was like being back home at mother's

From Jasper Fforde's The Well of Lost Plots

There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says ... it's payback time!

Something Rotten, Jasper Fforde

"What will you have, Ham-I mean, Cousin Eddie?"

"What is there?"

"Espresso, mocha, latte, white mocha, hot chocolate, decaf, recaf, nocaf, somecaf, extracaf, Goliachino^TM... what's the matter?"

Hamlet had started to tremble, a look of pain and hopelessness on his face as he stared wild-eyed at the huge choice laid out in front of him.

"To espresso or to latte, that is the question," he muttered, his free will evaporating rapidly. I had asked Hamlet for something he couldn't easily supply: a decision. "Whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain," he continued in a rapid garble, "or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache-"

"Cousin Eddie!" I said sharply. "Cut it out!"

"To froth, to sprinkle, perchance to drink, and in that-"

"He'll have a mocha with extra cream, please."

Hamlet stopped abruptly once the burden of decision was taken from him.

"Sorry," he said, rubbing his temples, "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything. Is that normal?"

Something Rotten, Jasper Fforde

"Someone has wired the retextualization inhibitor to the ISBN Code rectifiers. If the cord had been pulled, there would have been an overheat in the primary booster coils."

The Well of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde