The Twilight Report

let’s face it: bears are scary. and they want our honey.

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 02:28:00 GMT

Today Tristan was asking me about Transformers again. This pleases me because this is the list of the things that I am somewhat expert in (no particular order):

Transformers
C/C++
Star Trek
Perl
Doctor Who
Photography
Thursday Next
Never Being Confused

Anyway, he was asking me about where the Transformers came from and I told him about Primus and Unicron, the gods of the Transformers. This is sort of how it went:

me: Primus and Unicron are the gods of the Transformers. Primus created the transformers to battle the evil Unicron.
Tristnan: Did Unicron create the Decepticons to fight the Autobots?
me: No, Primus created both the Autobots and the Decepticons
Tristan: Why did he create them just to fight each other?

I really love the questions that Tristan asks. Now, granted we are talking about a mythology that nobody believes in, but you could easily recreate this exact same conversation using a number of “real” religions that I can think of, and this is exactly the sort of abstract thinking that should be applied to the subject.

who

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 02:40:00 GMT

Doctor Who, new series, second season, two part-er: “Rise of the Cybermen” / “The Age of Steel”: the tenth doctor and Rose visit a parallel universe where Great Britain is a republic and there are lots of airships, which gave the initial impression of being a Thursday Next rip off (it wasn’t but the coincidence is curious). Only I know it isn’t a real parallel universe because Mr. Spock didn’t have a goatee. You can’t fool me!

The Fourth Bear and Jindabyne

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 01:59:00 GMT

Today I trekked into the city to get Jasper Fforde's latest book The Fourth Bear. If you like Douglas Adams, or Terry Pratchett, you might like Fforde. I first heard of him when he did an interview on NPR in which he read a passage from his then latest book, where Hamlet, prince of Denmark, is forced to decide what kind of coffee to get when he steps into a modern (198x) coffee shop and is bewildered by the insurmountable choices (Hamlet being well known for his indecisiveness). Maybe you had to be there.

I was pleased to learn than Fforde's next book will be a Thursday Next novel.

Tonight I went to see the Australian film Jindabyne. See it if you get the chance.

Thursday Next

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 11:29:00 GMT

I just used the phrase Thursday Next in an e-mail to a friend of mine and it amused me, so I capitalized it as though it were her name instead of the phrase. I am sure the person who received this e-mail doesn't even know who Next is.

Macaroni Custard

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 23:11:00 GMT

"What's for supper?" I asked, slumping in a chair and closing my eyes.

"I've been experimenting with alternative recipes," said ibb, "so we're having Apples Benedict."

"Apples Benedict?"

"Yes; it's like Eggs Benedict but with--"

"I get the picture. Anything else?"

"Of course you. You could try Turnips à l'Orange or Macaroni Custard; for pudding I've made Anchovy Trifle and Herring Fool. What will you have?"

"Beans on toast."

I sighed. It was like being back home at mother's

From Jasper Fforde's The Well of Lost Plots

Payback

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 02:51:00 GMT

There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says ... it's payback time!

Something Rotten, Jasper Fforde

Ham and Cheese

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 14:50:00 GMT

"What will you have, Ham-I mean, Cousin Eddie?"

"What is there?"

"Espresso, mocha, latte, white mocha, hot chocolate, decaf, recaf, nocaf, somecaf, extracaf, Goliachino^TM... what's the matter?"

Hamlet had started to tremble, a look of pain and hopelessness on his face as he stared wild-eyed at the huge choice laid out in front of him.

"To espresso or to latte, that is the question," he muttered, his free will evaporating rapidly. I had asked Hamlet for something he couldn't easily supply: a decision. "Whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain," he continued in a rapid garble, "or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache-"

"Cousin Eddie!" I said sharply. "Cut it out!"

"To froth, to sprinkle, perchance to drink, and in that-"

"He'll have a mocha with extra cream, please."

Hamlet stopped abruptly once the burden of decision was taken from him.

"Sorry," he said, rubbing his temples, "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything. Is that normal?"

Something Rotten, Jasper Fforde

The measure of inertia at The Company is high. To make things worse, I tend to be distracted quite easily. For example, right now I should be working on Feature Number 123879 now that I have dispatched Defect Number 123940. Instead I am sitting here typing in the passage from the latest Thursday Next novel which got me to start reading the books in the first place.

Quality Technobable

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 15:04:00 GMT

"Someone has wired the retextualization inhibitor to the ISBN Code rectifiers. If the cord had been pulled, there would have been an overheat in the primary booster coils."

The Well of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde